"Politics Shouldn't Divide Us"

 Often after political decisions have been made to the detriment of large groups of people, the blame-game begins and those facing the prospect of material harm lash out at those who facilitated those decisions. After Trump won the 2024 election women, BIPOC, and the LGBTQ+ communities lashed out at the people in their lives who voted for Trump. We felt betrayed, angry, and fearful and we wanted those who voted for Trump to know what they'd done to bring these feelings on for us. Sometimes, people chose to cut ties with Trump voters. I think it's important to distinguish that this choice wasn't made over something small or insignificant. Donald Trump poses a direct threat to marginalized groups and to support Trump is to support the execution of that threat. Still, often the response to those lashing out or cutting ties is this: "You're really going to let politics come between us? You're going to let politics divide us? Politics shouldn't divide us and if you think it should, you're the problem."

The easy answer to this response is "Yep. I am going to let politics come between us. Our values are clearly very different, our morals do not align, and I do not want you in my life if you can't understand the danger that bigotry poses to me and my loved ones." But this answer leaves out some important context: politics has always divided us. As long as there have been haves and have-nots, as long as a ruling class has dominated society, as long as oppression has been a part of governance, politics has divided us. There is no world where the United States has not been divided by politics. There has been no point in US history when there weren't multiple groups of people oppressed by other groups wielding political power. It should come as no surprise that when you pick one side of the political spectrum, you're picking one side in a divided system. Even if we had a system that allowed for more than two parties, it would still be a divided system. There have always been political parties advocating for the oppression of others. Sometimes it may be well-disguised as advocating for the general welfare of certain groups with the quiet side note of it being at the expense of others. But that disguise will not negate the fact that it is at the expense of others. It will not negate the fact that some people will reap the benefits of that general welfare, and others will not.

To willingly pick a side vying for division and oppression, and then recoil at the people you know around you responding to that choice is confusing to me. What do Trump supporters really want when they say that politics should not divide us, despite having voted for a candidate who campaigned on the division of society? I've thought about this a lot, and think they want to be free from personal responsibility. "Well, yes, I voted for Trump. But I did that because of the economy, not because of the hateful rhetoric he's infamous for. It's not my fault if he does horrible things, because that's not why I voted for him." But it doesn't matter why it was done; it helped to put a dangerous man into power. When he does dangerous things, harmful things, what those who voted for him want is the ability to say "I didn't vote for this" but they did. Trump has never been one to hide his bigotry. You may not have voted for him because of his bigotry, but you did vote for him despite his bigotry. And that's the rub. 

This notion that politics shouldn't divide us is a pretty direct parallel "tolerate the intolerant" and "don't fight hate with hate", which are toxic ways for people to avoid personal accountability for bad takes, ignorance, or bigotry. If we tolerate the intolerant we offer them space to be comfortable with their intolerance which in turn begets more intolerance. It's a cycle which benefits the intolerant and hinders the growth of a more tolerant society.

The one tiny bit of credence I can give to the notion that politics shouldn't divide us, is that divided as we may be, we still have to be able to participate in healthy and productive conversations for the betterment of society. In order for these conversations to be healthy and productive, we have to all hold the same intention to improve society for everyone. Bigotry must be checked at the door. When the conversation turns to hatred or harmful rhetoric, it must be rejected completely. We can't improve a vast and diverse society with hatred or bigotry; we can only make it worse. And in that, it isn't just politics that divides us in times like this. We may always disagree, we may always choose sides on how best to make the world better. But it's specifically hateful politics; politics intended to worsen the lives of marginalized groups; politics designed to uphold and perpetuate a white supremacist patriarch. This form of politics has always, and will always divide us. It's in its nature; that's what it's for.

Rather than saying that politics shouldn't divide us, we should zero in on where and how we're perpetuating harm via politics and work actively to exclude that type of politics from our political landscape. And if loved ones are cutting ties with you because of your politics and you want to salvage those relationships, being defensive and indignant won't do the trick. Listening and acknowledging how you've contributed to their pain and fear is a first step.